Dante's inferno opens with Dante running through the woods from three horrible monsters. He runs for so long that he finds himself lost in the dark woods. He's tired, he's alone, and he realizes his doesn't know the diritta via, or right way out. He becomes conscious that he is ruining himself and finds himself falling into what he calls a basso loco, or deep place, where he says the sun is silent (I sol tace). My disordered world is my basso loco where I sol tace. The words found here are my desperate attempt to articulate what feels like my stumble through a place where up is down and food is greed, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It seemed so easy to find my way here but I'm finding it much harder to find the way out.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I have to get better. I refuse to let me life be about what goes in and out of my body.  But I know it's so much easier said then done.  But still let this be a testament to the fact that there is fight left in me.  My therapist told me to listen to the still small voice and that voice tells the other bitch in my who tells me I'm fat/whore/stupid/worthless/pathetic to shut the fuck up.  I'm alive.  I'm so lucky to be alive.  I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trudge through; all the while reminding my self to breathe, scream and take it one bite at a time. 


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